I don't expect things to be handed to me on a plate.
I also never expected this journey to be easy.
I thought China may have improved a little since my last visit in 2004. I mean they have hosted the Olympic Games since then and MUST have seen an influx in Tourism.
But no, it's just the same......
Dam hard work. Make that bloody hard work!
It's worn me down no end....it really has. I know I should be embracing the challenge that this country is so raw - but I'm not. Far from it. I just want to get the hell out of here!
It just seems like there is absolutely no infrastructure for Tourism in China. No English Maps are available, no Tourist Info, no English speaking staff at major attractions....big sigh
Anyone that tells me I'm on holiday, I reckon I'd clobber them.
Being on holiday and travelling are very much two different things! A holiday to me is sitting on a beach or beside a lake, relaxing, with no real agenda, taking each day as it comes.
Travelling is hard work.
I don't quite get China?
They love everything Western. Their shop signage is in English, labels on food products are English. You try and find someone that speaks English though? They really are few and far between. It has made the communication process that much more challenging. To say I've struggled in an understatement.
I have survived every other country making an effort. Yes I may be the worlds worst person at foreign languages but normally a big smile and some universal sign language gets me a loooooong way. Not in China.
I try. I really do. I just get the feeling that the more effort I make in this country the more people just can't be bothered to help. They seriously don't want to help.
I can count the number of helpful people on my left hand these last few weeks....... Number 1 being the Manager of a KFC store?! We asked what was there to do in Lanzhou and he promptly put his jacket on and took us to a bookstore and purchased a map for me. He WAS the towns Tourist Info.
Maybe I'm being too negative? I didn't enjoy China when I travelled here a few years ago. I desperately tried to come here with an open mind to give it another chance....I'm sad it's been a no go.
I've tried to get under the skin but when I think of China what immediately comes to mind is ....
A; Spitting .........HOOOOOOOOOOOIK SPIT!
How this is considered a sign of good health is beyond me. It is just gross. Puddles of fluorescent green flem everywhere.
B; Smoking
Another thing of China I don't get. They have the most centurions of any country in the world. One would think there population would have carked it from lung cancer by the time they reach 50 the amount of cigarettes they consume each day!
C; Sex shops! Unreal the amount of sex shops....
I'm sure there is more to the country than that. I commend any foreigner that lives here. Dam you're brave! Much braver than me.
So where have I been in China and what have I seen?
From Tibet I took the worlds highest train out of Lhasa to a town that Lonely Planet describes as a town where ex convicts escape too, Geermu.
The train ride was absolutely amazing and was worth being in China just for that! It really was. I'm going to write it up in a separate blog .....dam I love trains. I'm such a train geek!
There was nothing to see or do in Geermu. It was another Chinese industrial town, heavily polluted. It was also bloody cold. Spent my entire time in an internet cafe there....probably the cheapest internet I have come across in my travels to date.
The highlight of the town for me was eating in a fast-food restaurant called 'Do Me'!
From Geermu to Xining, another city of .....NOTHING.
What it did have was the birthplace of the 5th Dali Lama about 30kms out of town, at a monastery called Ta Er. Was the last we would see of any real Tibetans....
Had an interesting time at the monastery. My friend Phil got molested by a 90 year old monk. I could see it happening and I could do nothing but piddle my pants laughing! Poor Phil.
We met this old monk in a courtyard and although he spoke not a word of English he invited us to follow him ....of course we did!
He took us to his very basic quarters and he invited us to sit down on the very basic bed. His room consisted of a mattress, a stove with an ancient blackened old kettle and some books. They must be immune to the cold. I had 5 layers of thermals on and I was still cold. The old monk was in his robes, with bare arms!
He was fascinated with Phil and his beard. He put his hand on Phil's leg and then it got higher and higher! Ha ha ....was refreshing for me for once, not to be the 'victim'!
I took a parting photo of the two of them together - the Monk grabbing hold of Phil's buttocks as they smiled for the photo...
From Xining to Lanzhou.....again nothing to see or do. Try and find good cheap food where normally meant scouting out local restaurants pointing out the next table and saying 'I'll have what he is having'! Normally works for me. Then I proceed to have the restaurant in fits of laughter with my chopstick technique. God I'm hopeless! I am improving ever so slowly though...I'm not starving at least! Shovelling seems to work.
What else did we do here?
We walked down the banks of the Yellow River - that isn't yellow.
We watched people play ping pong.
We entertained ourselves on the many ridiculous public exercise machines.
We found the University Library and I killed a few hours reacquainting myself with the world by reading TIME Magazines
Then to Xian, home of the Terracotta Warriors. Probably the most overrated tourist attraction I've ever seen. They are amazing and it would have been incredible to have been the farmer who found these when digging for water back in 1974 (good year!) but it's just the way the Chinese Government have presented them to the world. A crock of communist shit (excuse my French). Just made me cringe.
Dam expensive to see too....(like $10 USD).
I saw the Warriors in an exhibition when they were brought out to the British Museum a few years back. I wish I had left my experience of the Chinese Terracotta Army at that.
I parted ways with Phil here in Xian. He was going onto Shanghai to meet up with friends before taking up a teaching post in Mongolia. When his contract is done in Ulan Bataar he is going to ride a horse across the country! Cool huh? Kindred spirits..... he was a huge help to me especially when it came to luggage and trains. Very trying times.
To Chengdu, in the South West of China in the Sichuan Province.....famous for it's 'hotpots' and it's 'Pandas'.
Had a cool couchsurf here, Kendra. She's an American teaching English. Nice chick....I enjoyed hanging out with her and her crazy kittens Chicken and Nugget who took a liking to Tankini (my bike). Kendra lived on the 19th floor of this amazing high rise apartment block. Would have been an incredible view...if it wasn't for the pollution! Her work was a school not like I had seen before, on the 4th floor of the local Walmart complex....surreal!
Donned a pair of Kendra's high heels and hit a few pubs. First time in 8 months I'd worn a pair of heels! Felt nice after so long. It's incredible what a pair of nice shoes can do to a gal?!
Was introduced to Chinese drinking games which involved lot's of dice! The night ended with the equivalent of a dirty kebab......a local restaurant where you choose your skewered food and they basically cook to order on a grill. Aubergine, bamboo, chicken, beef, potato, squid, quails eggs (or century eggs....the poo eggs that are considered a local delicacy). Washed down with warm walnut milk.....mmmmmmm
To the pandas the next day....
Giant pandas are a Chinese national treasure. I didn't realize but they are only found only in Sichuan, Shaanxi and Gansu provinces. Another thing I also didn't know is that there are also fewer than 1,000 pandas left in the world and 80% are distributed within the territory of Sichuan province.
They were cute. Real cute. The Panda Reserve was quite well presented .....I mean even English translations in some cases!
I'm not sure if the photos of natural panda mating and artificial insemination were completely necessary though?
From Chengdu I headed to the most Southern City I could....Kunming. Was nice there. I opted to find a hostel rather than couchsurf as I just wanted to be around other travellers, plus I wanted info on how the hell to get out of China and I figured a backpackers hostel would be the answer to that!
China has surprised me with it's effort towards Christmas. The shops are decked out with decorations, staff are wearing Santa hats and there are Christmas carols playing in the streets. Christmas trees, lights and tinsel. I really don't understand why?
This isn't their festival. It has absolutely no meaning to them. Commercialisation at it's best.
Christmas has hit me hard this year. Really hard. I don't want to be here in China by myself. It's taken me this long to realize that Christmas really is about being with your family and eating too much good food until you are ready to burst. I'm blubbing now but I swear next year, it's going to be spent with Mum and Wade with the dogs on the beach in New Zealand. What I would give for a Kiwi Christmas right now?
But there is nothing else on my Christmas List dear Santa. I just want to be out of China and in Laos. My plan is to head to Luang Prabang to try and befriend some other random travellers and spend Christmas Day with them. All going well, that's the plan Stan....just need to make it happen.
I've come so close to calling the whole journey quits these last few weeks. I'm sick of being sick, I'm miserable and I'm lonely. I'm low on cash and I feel forgotten more often than not. I also don't really know why I'm doing this and whether it will all be worth it?
But my good friend Dana arrives from Australia on December 29 to spend nearly a month with me and then the rest of the troops arrive on January 9, Beans from the UK, Jacqui after her tour of Cambodia and Vietnam and Bunny is stopping off in Thailand after spending Christmas at home with her family in New Zealand. If that's not something to look forward to then I don't what else could possibly lift my spirits. .....
Merry Christmas to you! I hope you are at least with loved ones and you get to eat and drink too much and be very merry!
Kyles x
PS: Footnote to China. Let me describe my last 2 days to you.....
Stayed at The Hump Hostel in Kunming. Cool hostel with loads of foreigners the staff were helpful and advised me yes I could get a bus to Laos from Kunming and yes they would also sell me the ticket. 351 yuan and a 26 hour bus ride. I don't mind paying that if it meant getting me out of China! I wondered how much commission they had on the ticket though so I thought I would go to bus station direct and buy ticket. I also wanted to check that my bike wasn't going to be an issue and if I went to the bus station at least I knew where I had to go the next day to get the bus...
Got the hostel to write for me on a piece of paper in Chinese that I wanted to purchase ticket to Luang Prabang and that I had a bicycle. So 6 bloody bus stations later and 5 hours wasted I was still no better off. No one would sell me a dam ticket. Plus I got knocked off my bike by a car. A hole.
Got back to the hostel and manager said he would help me the next day (bless him) ...he came with me to the station.
So we got to bus station next morning and were were told there were no buses into Laos but there WERE buses going to the border. Thought this was weird as I had researched online and there had been an entry on Lonely Planets Thorn Tree forum only 15 December (8 days ago, a girl had travelled it and had advised she had laptop stolen from bag above her head, take care). So the border it was, not ideal but still better than nothing. Noticed a couple of other foreigners down the bus station too (we tend to stick out like sore thumbs!) So bought ticket for bus at 5pm, and was assured bike wasn't going to be an issue.
Got back to hostel and went out with a whole group of people for lunch....all you can eat buffet for 14 yuan (that's like 2 quid).
I still haven't had my fix of wontons, dim sims, lemon chicken or (radioactive colored orange) sweet and sour pork - it doesn't exist I tell you!
Then I spotted the foreigners at the hostel that I had seen earlier down the bus station. Well, what do you know, she's a Kiwi girl the same age as me, travelling with a Swiss guy and cycling. I loved chatting with them and we knattered away until it was time for me to leave. Cyclists looking out for each other they helped me with my gear (I have far too much gear but nothing to cull)!
So down to the bus station I go and what do you know I get there and they refuse to take me and my bike. Can you picture six Chinese men standing around Tankini and I, spitting, smoking and screaming at me in Chinese?! It wasn't the first time I have broken down and burst into tears. I wish I could be stronger.
Very lucky for me a lovely Chinese lady stepped forward who could speak some English and she acted as an interpreter. They explained no room for my bike, they could take me but I wouldn't be able to take my bike. I would have to arrange to freight my bike separately. Not an option for me.....I don't mean to think the worst but what I could see happening was me leaving China and my bike getting lost and then me not being in the country to find her!
So I told a little white lie and said my visa expired tomorrow and I HAD to be out of China. Couldn't really say I hated China and I was just bloody desperate to leave the country!
The bus driver gave me my money back from the ticket and I was back to square one. Shit.
I stayed there glued to the spot, contemplating my options.
I figured my ONLY option was to try again the next day. It would mean I would be travelling Christmas Day ...but would that be such a bad thing?
They must have felt sorry for me as I sat there on my panniers surrounded by globs of hoik, face stained with tears. They babbled away in Chinese casting glances my way. Dam I wish I knew what they were saying...
The nice Chinese lady announced to me that there was another bus bound for the border town of Mengla but it left from a bus station 26 kilometers out of the city and that it was more expensive than this bus.
Great. I'd just spent my last Chinese yuan on postcards and stamps and food for the long bus journey. I didn't have any yuan left.
Three very cool things happened next.
1) The Chinese lady dug into her wallet and gave me the 50 yuan I would need to buy the more expensive bus ticket.
2) A man in the crowd jumped on his motorbike and said follow me! So I cycled (trying to keep up with him!) the 26 kilometers to the new long distance bus station out of town.
3) The new bus driver persevered with me for a good half hour trying to make my bike fit in the luggage compartment under the bus. Result!
My first experience of a Chinese bus. What a hoot! I'd never ever heard of them....sleeper buses?
So inside the bus there are 3 rows of bunk beds with two aisles. Incredibly narrow and designed for dwarfs as I settled myself in for the 26 hour journey, I thought this was the closest I have ever been to being in a coffin!
As I always do on long journeys I take some panadol and try and knock myself out. Naughty I know ....but it works for me!
I stayed onside with the bus driver making sure I was always on the bus first when he was ready to go and giving him a big smile whenever I could. I didn't want to be the pain in the ass foreigner that held the journey up. This helped my cause no end when I discovered the bus DID in fact go across the border into Laos and terminated at Luang Prabang where I wanted to go! Brilliant. All my Christmases had just come at once!
At the border I caught up with the nice Chinese lady and her cute son. That was the bus I was supposed to be on and that had left 2 hours earlier than mine! I gave her a big hug. She had been thinking about me and was curious to know how I had got on? I have her address and I will stay in touch. It's acts of kindness by random strangers like her that make it all worthwhile.
I politely refrained from punching the air and screaming good riddance China as I crossed the border! I didn't want them to revoke my newly issued Laos visa thinking I was some mad woman....he hee
We picked up another foreigner too! Paul an English guy from Brighton who was also cycling around South East Asia. Talked him into coming to Spicy Laos Backpackers with me (Laos hostel of the year 2008 with rave reviews on hostelworld - sold me).
So now here I am, in Laos on Christmas Eve surrounded by other homeless travelling orphans. I loved Laos 5 years ago and I think I love it just as much already.
But hey, I'm not in China.....it's gotta be good!
